Goodbye

Goodbye

 

So yeah this poem’s dramatic,

Bit drastic,

Pyro-fucking clastic

I don’t care, I feel fucking fantastic

 

Better than when you left,

Left me bereft

Speaking shit rhymes

Remembering good times

 

Were there good times? Or was it all bad?

Maybe I’m sad.  Bitter

Maybe I should flush this down the shitter

Use it as litter, witter on about my feeling

 

You left me reeling, kneeling

Numb.

 

But my mind is clear,

I write from my head, not my heart,

Knowing we’re better off apart

Cos I loved you so fucking much

I don’t know why

 

Cos you made us fight, made me right

When I was never wrong

 

I say so long,

So long to this hate,

Filling my mind with its

toxic song

 

Because it’s been too long,

Too long,

I’ve let these thoughts fester

I’m not getting better

 

Just worse, you’re a curse

Imprinted on my mind

All I find

Is sparkling cyanide

Poisoning me

As I think of you

 

Every day

Cross out every line a hundred times

Mine my brain for the perfect rhymes

 

Perform this poem in a million places

To a billion faces

While you don’t give

Me a second thought

 

Maybe I’m not good enough,

Don’t deserve love,

I was better off alone, all along,

Singing the same old song,

God, I’m such a cliché

Whining the day away

 

So I’ve been fucked over

Handed the short stick

Made to look a prick

As the grief takes control

Of the hole where my soul used to be

What makes me so special?

Who gives a fuck?

 

I do.  Through and through.

That was it.

I cared too much

The way you felt,

The way you smelt

Challenged me to be my best

Never let me rest on my arse,

Just scrape past, keep on through, do what I never could do

 

Sleeping in a fort of blankets

On a bed of sand,

You lent me your hand

To stop me falling from Rainbow Road

 

As we flew high, tye-dye, like hippies,

Going to chippies,

To eat enchiladas off Tupperware lids,

binging Community, Fresh off the Boat,

every day I would dote on you,

flowers and socks

 

And when I was dying from man-flu,

You knew what to do,

You took care of me,

As we bounced around,

Up in the sky,

Soaring high,

No fear,

 

As you cheer me on as I read my poetry,

Saying I rap like Biggie,

But, not really,

I’m plain old me

Nothing special.

But to you I was.

And I never understood why.

 

I loved your curves, the way you cuddled, the way we snuggled,

Watching Netflix with a take-away,

And nobody, but nobody, could take that away

That memory of what we were

 

Sure we weren’t perfect,

Scratch the surface, you’ll

Find reflections of our imperfections

 

And we didn’t do amazing things together,

But it didn’t matter, because we did them together

 

I don’t care if that’s corny, cheesy,

Overly-sweet,

Because you had me beat to find

Someone I could love so unconditionally

 

Love what makes you wrong, because that’s what makes you right

Love clouded my sight,

My affection was an infection, deflecting your flaws,

Your mistakes, and my heart breaks because

all I saw was my love for you

 

So yeah, this poem’s dramatic

Bit drastic

Pyro-fucking clastic

I don’t care, because I feel fucking fantastic

 

Because we’re better off apart

And I’m saying that from my head,

Not my heart

Goodbye.

 

*author’s notes*

I should have written this a long time ago.  Goodbye.

Thanking my good friend, Kally, for reading this over.

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